​断舍离─如何使文章更加简洁

杨颖莉

写作的一个重要标准就是Conciseness，即写作语言要简洁、清晰，避免不必要的重复。这样才能突出文章重点，有效地将文章主旨传达给读者。那是不是文章中完全不能出现重复呢？并非如此，有经验的作者经常通过重复来深化文章主题，或承接上下文内容，比如大家非常熟悉的马丁•路德金的演讲I have a dream.

文章中的冗余，是指词汇或内容上不必要的重复。这些重复会使读者感觉文章结构不够紧凑，语言不够精炼，也容易忽略作者所要呈现的重要信息。先来看一个例子：

例1：

It is known to us that our generation is quite different from our parents’ generation, not only in the way we communicate, but also in the way we entertain ourselves. For one thing, our generation prefers to communicate by using smart phones, as a newly invented thing, smart phone is playing an important role in our life, which is a bit unfamiliar with our parents.

在这个例子中，重要的信息是“我们和父母一代不同，差异不仅体现在交流的方式，同时体现在娱乐方式上”。在表达这个观点之前，作者加上了It is known to us that…这个固定表达。它没有实质意义，可以加在任何一句话之前。将它删去之后，主题句更加清晰明了，重点突出，表现力强。

     It is known to us that        our generation is quite different from our parents’ generation, not only in the way we communicate, but also in the way we entertain ourselves.

与It is known to us that类似的空洞而无意义的词汇和短语包括：all things considered, as far as I am concerned, for the most part, in a manner of speaking, in my opinion, last but not least, as is known to all 等。同学们可以在修改作文的时候，把这些冗余短语全部删除。

例2

People are now living in an advertisement era, that is to say, their lives are filled with advertisements.

在这个例子中，作者使用了that is to say这个短语，此后本应对前面的概念或观点进行深入阐释，或加入细节进一步说明。然而后面的分句在意思上和前面的分句完全一致，因此也属于冗余信息，应该删除。

有些短语意思相近，重复使用也会产生冗余，因此也需要精简，以达到意义表达的简洁。

例3

Such methods are effective to cultivate students’ capability of critical thinking and creative innovations.

这个句子中的creative innovation两个词表达的意思有所重复，因此可以删除innovations, 把creative改成名词creativity。

常见的重复短语如：circle around, repeat again, revert back, surrounding circumstances, biography of life, few in number, absolutely essential, absolutely necessary, added bonus, future plans 等。

为了使文章节奏更加明快，表达更加简洁，可以把从句缩减为短语，短语缩减为单词。在学术语体中，常见的norminalization (名词化) 就是一种有效的方式。

例4：

Smith College, which was founded in 1871, is the premier all-women's college in the United States.

Founded in 1871, Smith College is the premier all-women's college in the United States.

在例4中，第二句将Smith College作为主语，把第一句中的定语从句改成分词短语放在句首，意思没有任何改变，却节省了空间，也增加了句式的变化。

例5: (norminalization)

The government banned smoking in public places in 2007. Since then, fewer people have been admitted to hospital for smoking-related diseases.

The ban on smoking in public places in 2007 has led to a fall in hospital admissions for smoking-related diseases.

比较一下这两个句子，我们不难看出，名词化可以将两句话的信息压缩到一句，而且可以保持一种客观、中立的语气。在学术英语中，同学们可以尝试使用这种方法来达到语言表达的简洁。

Reference

Fowler, H. R. & Aaron, J. (2007). The Little, Brown Handbook, 北京大学出版社。